It’s weird to start making your NFL picks in Week 8, but it’s even weirder to start your blog back up in October after 10 months off. Drink that sentence in for a second, won’t you? Go ahead and call your bookie right now, cause these picks are all 100% locks, but only if I’m right.

Ravens (-3.5) vs Broncos

I hate both of these teams, but this is a good chance for someone to punch Denver in the mouth and expose them for the candyasses that they are.  The Ravens aren’t that good either, but I think they’re tough at home and with my aforementioned belief that Denver really isn’t that good, I’m taking the Ravs and the points.

Texans (-3.5) at Bills

Houston will be gimped with Andre Johnson banged up, but the Bills are in a state of disarray that is only trumped by the Raiders at this juncture.  Houston screams to a win.

Bears (-13.5) vs Browns

I’m always taken aback when I see a double-digit spread in today’s parity-happy NFL.  Then I see this game involves the Browns and realize that parity is just an illusion.  The Bears love to cause me trouble, but I can’t see how anyone could bet the Browns unless you’re talking 20 points (or they’re playing the Raiders or Bills).

Cowboys (-9.5) vs Seahawks

How far have the Seahawks sunk?  Even with Matt Hasslesuck relatively healthy, they’re still pretty awful.  The Cowboys are inconsistent and bizarre in their own right, but they’re a cinch at home in that monstrosity they call a stadium.

Rams (+3.5) at Lions

This game will probably set professional football, and possibly, polite society back a good 40 years.  Nobody cares, but Steven Jackson wins the day for the Rams.

49ers (+11.5) vs Colts

The Colts offense is pretty killer.  I want to believe that with Frank Gore healthy, the Niners can keep this under 10 points.  I may be insane.

Dolphins (+3.5) at Jets

I just don’t think you can trust the Jets at this point.  The Dolphins have the right idea.  They have no QB to speak of, so they just don’t play one approximately 1-in-6 snaps.

Giants (+2.5) at Eagles

I like the Giants coming back from a primetime loss last week.  Plus, the Eagles are just done.

Chargers (-16.5) vs Raiders

You want to talk about a team you can’t trust…I give you the Chargers.  On the other side though, you have the Raiders, the worst professional sports franchise in existence.  16+ is a lot of wood, but again, it is the Raiders.

Jaguars (+2.5) at Titans

Lots of people picked the Titans to win the AFC this year.  Lots of people were wrong.  Vince Young can’t save them (He’s the 00′s version of Kordell Stewart).  Take the Jags and double down on them moving to LA within three years.

Panthers (+9.5) at Cardinals

The Cards are another team that you really can’t trust from week to week.  Carolina is getting healthier is a decent bet to keep it close.

Packers (-2.5) vs Vikings

The NFL’s wet dream comes true this week with Old Man Favre going back to Lambeau Field to face the team that basically kicked him out, not that it wasn’t justified.  Don’t get me wrong with this pick, I think the Vikes are a better team, I just think the Pack has a lot more to lose here and will come through with a win.

Saints (-9.5) vs Falcons

There aren’t enough digits on the scoreboard to contain what will happen in this game.  Bet the over, no matter what.  The Saints love primetime games and it’s hard to bet against them, as no one has been able to even remotely contain them up to this point.  Take ‘em and love it.

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Tags: Football Picks, NFL

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